The Wrong Recipient
by COOKIECHEESEMAN
Summary: Complete. Tharja writes a letter to Robin for him to meet up with her... but Chrom shows up instead! They decide to go out to eat somewhere anyway, and eventually Tharja realizes that perhaps it was a good thing that Chrom got the letter instead of Robin. TharjaxChrom, with Robin as the oblivious tactician, as well as Tharja's initial love interest.
1. The Wrong Man

Author's Notes

Apparently, I'm not the first one to attempt this pairing, but let's go with it anyway! Please don't guest review!

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><p>The Wrong Recipient<p>

Chapter 1: The Wrong Man

"_**Hmm... I'm not sure if you know this already, but I want you. I NEED you. Meet me behind the kitchen tent tomorrow before dinner, and we can get to know each other better... we'll dress up our very best, and perhaps we'll go somewhere just the two of us. Don't worry; you won't regret it..."**_

"_**From your special dark mage, Tharja"**_

"Hee hee..." Tharja chuckles to herself, holding her hand to her face as she examines her hand-written letter. "Robin could never resist this. I must admit that using such a conventional method is beyond my usual means of getting what I want, but Robin doesn't even notice me! That's why I'm changing things up a bit. Regardless of how unfamiliar I am with this type of plan, if it works for multitudes of other people, why wouldn't it work for me?"

Tharja seals the unmarked envelope after depositing the letter, and when she ruffles Robin's tent to get his attention, she runs away and jumps in the bushes to avoid being spotted. Although she can't completely see what's going on, what she can make out is a blurred figure poking their head out of the tent and, finding the letter on the ground, picks it up and starts reading it.

She grins in triumph.

"Mission accomplished," she remarks, and slinks away before anyone can notice her.

* * *

><p>The next day, anticipating the night she's going to have, Tharja makes sure her appearance is absolutely perfect for her plan to work; the plan is to <em>seduce <em>Robin, of course. So, she picks out her best black dress to wear for the occasion. When she's finished, she examines the image in the mirror to look herself over. The dress is slim-fitting, made to show off the curves of the wearer, and Tharja's definitely not lacking in that department. Her hips are quite prominent, as well as her ample chest, but it's a natural look meant to enhance and beautify the wearer, not to intimidate or embarrass others.

As well, a long slit runs on the left side of the dress to expose the legs, especially when they're crossed. Finally, in conjunction with the slit, the length of the dress is actually not exact, in this case meaning that the left side of the dress ends slightly higher over her ankle than the right side, giving a more unique look to the wearer.

Yes, Robin will surely notice her this time.

"Wonderful," she coos to herself. After deeming herself ready to go, Tharja exits her tent to go to her destination; behind the kitchen tent, where she is destined to meet her future lover. However, she finds him on the way to her destination, which is surprising. It appears he's already changed, though, so it's not a problem. He probably forgot something, which is why he's walking in the opposite direction.

"Hello, Robin..." she slurs, careful to emphasis her target's name, but to her disdain, Robin merely mumbles an 'oh, hi, Tharja,' before walking away, clearly not noticing her fancy attire. The frown on Tharja's face is unmistakeable as her future husband walks away without so much as a word about her appearance.

_Hmph. Perhaps he's just thinking about some sort of tactical issue or something. No matter. We still have the whole evening to figure things out..._

When she arrives at the designated meeting point, she is surprised to find Chrom there, wearing formal attire; formal for Chrom, anyway, considering he's still not comfortable in anything super fancy. Either way, Chrom is _not _the person she's waiting for, which annoys her to no end.

"Hello, Tharja," Chrom greets Tharja, and he looks surprisingly happy to see her. "You're here! That dress really suits you, by the way."

Tharja was planning to make some snide comment, but she's dumbfounded by the prince's compliment, so she suffices in simply replying, "oh... hello Chrom."

"I must say, I'm shocked about this entire situation," Chrom starts, and he pulls out some sort of paper from his pocket. "But, I guess it's true. I showed Robin your letter I found in front of my tent yesterday, and he said it was a prank, believing that you weren't able to have romantic feelings for people..."

"Wait a second!" Tharja interrupts, and she yanks the paper out of a surprised Chrom's hands. Her face pales when she realizes that she's holding the perfectly hand-crafted letter that she painstakingly wrote yesterday.

_How did this happen? I could have sworn that was Robin's tent, but..._

"Is something the matter..."

"This was supposed to be for _Robin_, not for you!" Tharja shouts, and she rips up the letter in disgust. After the job is completed, Tharja stands there panting as Chrom just watches in disbelief. "All that work... wearing this dress, writing that letter... what a waste. What am I supposed to do now?"

Silence.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I took that letter with a grain of salt," Chrom says, clearly not offended by Tharja's reaction to the situation. "Either way, I have a reservation for two at the Royal Pavise restaurant that's in town. Might as well take advantage of it, considering we're already dressed up. Are you up for it? It will be my treat."

Tharja scowls at the suggestion, but only an idiot would turn down a free meal at a high-end restaurant, especially after eating only beans and bread for the last few months. Even though the whole army should be arriving back at Ylisse in the next few weeks, seeing as they've just recently defeated Gangrel, one can only take so much.

"...fine. Let's go."

* * *

><p>After a ten minute walk down the path, Chrom and Tharja arrive at the town of Dregal, a mining town with many lesser nobles and high-end commodities such as lumber and ore. Even if the ore runs out, the town will still remain a crucial location, simply because it is one of the few areas in Ylisse that must be passed for any sort of exporting to occur, meaning its existence will never die out. This has lead to the ability to have high-end restaurants in the city, with the Royal Pavise at the top of the chain. Unless you are very rich, or willing to reserve seats months in advance, it is almost impossible to get a table there. Nevertheless, with Chrom being next in line to be Exalt of Ylisse, he was able to get a reservation quite easily yesterday.<p>

"As much as I don't like getting special treatment, there are some perks to being royalty, I guess," Chrom says, and the two of them enter the grand building. Once they enter its depths, it's evident how much thought was put into the design of the decor, considering its walls are covered with gold and silver and other precious minerals. As well, the flag of Ylisse is everywhere, signifying its intense allegiance to their country and what it stands for.

To Tharja, this is not a good sign.

"Chrom, this may not be a good idea," she says, eyeing the establishment warily.

"Why do you say that?" Chrom asks in surprise. "Nothing seems out of the ordinary to me."

As they approach the reservation desk, the other men and women waiting on the benches give the duo strange looks, and a few of them even start whispering among themselves, pointing at Tharja and avoiding eye contact. Tharja immediately understands what's going on, but Chrom seems to be oblivious.

"What's wrong with people? It's like they haven't seen a man and a woman before," Chrom states, instinctively walking closer to Tharja. When they finally arrive at the reservation desk, the man stationed there gives them a welcoming smile, but the smile fades as he examines Tharja.

"I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave," he says coldly.

"What, why?" Chrom questions him, and Tharja glares at the man in annoyance. "We have a reservation here. Is there a problem?"

"Not with you, sir, but with her. _She's _not allowed in here. Plegians are banned from this establishment. They've been mistreating our good nation for as long as we can remember. They killed our Exalt. They've killed many of our friends and family."

Chrom does not seem impressed with this reasoning. "We've killed many Plegians with our own soldiers. Does that not mean something? We should both be in the wrong if that's your logic."

"Let me also remind you, sir," the man starts, "that this woman in your company would be a horrible influence and image to have on display here." Pointing very manner-of-factly at Tharja, he indicates just some of the 'atrocities' that she's apparently committing: "Look at her attire. She flaunts herself in such a way that it's insulting to other women. And look at her darkened black hair. It's almost as if she's an incarnation of Grima itself with such hair, not to mention all of the pagan ornaments in it. How can we tolerate such things?"

Tharja takes huge offence at these statements. Firstly, it's not her fault she's good-looking and can display that fact to others. Other than the slit on the side of her dress, she isn't even exposing any of her skin! And secondly, Tharja has always taken pride in her hair. Hair colour is _not_ something that should be condemned, and the ornaments are not meant to offend; they're meant to express who she is as a person.

It takes all of her willpower not to attack the man right where he stands.

"Listen, you creep," she starts, deciding instead to express her disgust in words, "it's one thing to insult a country you were previously at war with. It's another to ostracize a person simply because they're from said country, and possess physical traits that aren't 'normal', as you believe." She moves closer to the man in anger, and in response the man steps back in fear. The ferocity of Tharja's emotions is clear in her eyes, and she starts laughing eerily as she utters a threat to the man: "I could kill you right now if I wanted. I'm just a worthless Plegian, you say, so you wouldn't blame me if I did, right? Killing people and making them suffer is just something we do for fun, isn't it?"

"Come on, Tharja, we'll take our leave," Chrom declares, and he pulls Tharja away from the reservation desk. The man sighs in relief as the two get farther and farther away from the desk, but before they leave, Chrom shouts to the man, "and as the future Exalt of Ylisse, I have the authority to officially relieve you of your position here at this establishment. Good day."

The man's jaw drops as Chrom and Tharja exit the building.

* * *

><p>"That dastard!" Chrom groans, and he sits in guilt at the front of the building with Tharja, who only looks bored now instead of angry. Putting his hands over his face, he continues, "if I had known those people were such snobs, I wouldn't have bothered. And those things he said about you... gods!"<p>

"Well, can't do anything about it. It _was_ strange that you trusted a Plegian to join your army, when you think about it," Tharja replies, her voice monotone. "Once, I was tempted to do something to you for your stupidity in letting me enlist with you. But your sister was a good person, and you were just trying to follow her example." A pause. "I thought that even I'm not _that_ heartless, so I backed off."

Chrom looks up at Tharja in appreciation and surprise, and she raises an eyebrow. "What are you so happy about?"

He simply smiles. "You're a good person too. Even if you don't want to admit it."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not," she says again, but by now she's smirking too. "No point in sitting and arguing about useless facts. I'm starving. Let's go somewhere else to eat. I'm _not_ eating Gregor's special 'Bean Bread Stew' tonight for the 300th time in a row."

Chrom chuckles. "Ha ha, good idea. Uh, I heard that the Aegis Cafe has some good food. Although, I heard Robin was going on a date with Sumia there tonight, so maybe we shouldn't..."

Tharja's eyes widen considerably.

And intense jealousy rages inside her.

"We're going there. NOW." the jealous mage commands, and she drags Chrom behind her as she determinedly walks towards their new destination. "And don't think you're going to get away with not buying me dinner, even though we're going somewhere else than originally planned."

"Okay then," Chrom reluctantly agrees.

"But..." she slowly mutters, "...I suppose I owe you a thank you for sticking up for me."

Chrom notices that there's a hint of a smile playing on Tharja's face as she says this.

_Interesting... has Tharja EVER smiled at anyone other than Robin before?_

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><p><span>Author's Notes<span>

New multi-chapter fic! WAHOO

I had this idea in my brain for a long time, and while it was originally going to just be a one-shot, I figured out that I just have too much to put into one chapter. :p It's going to end up about three or four chapters altogether.

One thing I'm trying to accomplish with this fic is to put more effort into overall setting and stuff like that; describing places, describing people's reactions to things, and stuff like that. Description is one of my weaknesses in writing, so I'm making a special effort to put more details into the story. Even then, I know there are probably A LOT of other things I could add, but improvement is a gradual process, not immediate, so I'm happy with how this is turning out! Hey guys! You think there's an improvement in this department?

Dregal is a randomly made-up name for the town, but I'm sure you guys know where the Royal Pavise and the Aegis Cafe come from. :p I'm not sure what the term is for offending people from another country, but it's understandable that Ylissean people would feel some anger towards the Plegian. That man went too far, though. Serves him right he got fired. :p

I'm not too sure if you guys got this or not, but this takes place on the way back to Ylisse after defeating Gangrel, meaning that Chrom's not married yet. :D

That was quick! It's already time to update A Glimmer of Hope! Hope this story turns out well!


	2. The Wrong Reasoning

Chapter 2: The Wrong Reasoning

Chrom and Tharja enter the Aegis Cafe, and to their surprise, it's basically a pub with a private lounge area. The lounge is off-limits except for those who book it in advance, but the main area is pretty standard; battle equipment hung up everywhere, (including a replica of Chrom's Falchion with an inscription under it) a large bar with stools where people can sit and order drinks from the bartender, and some tables where you can be served unhealthy food. Chrom almost considers just leaving, but Tharja is clearly too hungry to care about the atmosphere, for she immediately finds a table and starts looking through the menu.

"Uh, are you sure we should be here?" Chrom asks warily, shifting his eyes around the room. The only occupants around are large pirates and arena fighters. Arenas don't really exist anywhere except for in Feroxi, but obviously there must be one in the town. Regardless, Chrom's heard of their reputation, so it's understandable that he's worried. "Can't you tell that the only people here are..."

"Chrom, I need food. _Now._" Tharja's basically giving Chrom a death glare at this point. It would probably be best if he complied. "I guess Robin isn't here yet, so we're going to eat until he arrives."

"Er, okay then..." Chrom stutters, picking up and holding a menu in front of his face so that he can avoid eye contact. "What looks good here..."

"Heh. Ain't never seen such a fine lass here before," a booming voice comments, and Chrom looks up in horror at one of the largest pirates he's ever seen. His muscles look large enough to lift entire boulders, and a giant scar runs over his face, adding to his intimidating nature. "It's almost like yous came here just to give me and me crew a good time..."

As the man begins to reach for Tharja's chest, she directs her death glare to him, saying, "touch me, and I'll murder you in your sleep."

The pirate raises an eyebrow, and then he retracts his hand, letting out a hearty laugh. "Ha ha! Feisty too! You know, I think yous might be enough for all of us to handle! Yous can't do anything when you're tied up, right?"

As Tharja's glare turns into a look of fear, the man forcefully grabs both of her arms so that she's unable to do anything. Try as she might, she cannot break free from his grip, and the pirate lets out another hardy laugh. "We've found a treasure, boys! Let's enjoy her! Who goes first?"

Tharja growls in frustration. She can't even hex the perpetrator because she doesn't have the use of her hands, meaning she's completely helpless...

"Let her go. She's with me."

The pirate turns in amazement towards Chrom, who's now angry at how this situation has turned out. "You don't have any right to do what you're doing. You don't just take women and do what you please!"

"Really, now? Watch me!" the man taunts, and he changes his grip so that he can hold both of Tharja's arms with only one of his, and then laughs for a third time. Along with her worried face, it's easy to tell that Tharja's getting nervous, for her chest begins to heave as the pirate prepares to grab it again with his free hand...

He hesitates, though, when he finds Chrom's Falchion held up to his neck.

"I'll say it again: Let. Her. Go." Chrom snarls, and the pirate appears to reconsider his actions. He glances at the replica of Falchion on the wall, along with the inscription under it, and then realization seems to hit him. And almost immediately after, then, he takes Tharja and pushes her into Chrom's unsuspecting arms, eliciting a light blush on the prince's face.

"Yous the prince, aren't ya?" the man asks, although it sounds more like a statement than a question. "I owes ya big time. Don't ask how, but me only son got separated from me and got mixed up with the Plegian army for some reason. Just recently, me son returned to me safe and sound after Gangrel was killed. However, he says the only reason he's alive is because _when_ the Mad King was killed, you made sure to spare the lives of the remaining soldiers who were under him, and even tended to some of their injuries." He takes a deep breath. "Me son said you gave him your last pack of vulneraries to make sure he didn't die right then and there. He would not be alive today if it weren't for you."

Chrom simply stands there with his mouth open, dumbfounded by the story, and is unable to respond.

"So, we'll leave yous two alone. If anyone tries to take advantage of your girl, they'll answer to _me_." And then, without another word, the pirate walks back to his table where his other crewmates are sitting. For another few seconds, Tharja and Chrom just stare at each other, neither one of them breaking eye contact.

"Um, hello? I can take your order now..." a waiter awkwardly mumbles, and Tharja immediately starts glaring at Chrom again.

"Put me down before I render your arms completely useless."

Chrom quickly complies with the request, placing Tharja on her chair like she never left. "S-sorry," he says, and then starts scanning the menu to attempt to think of something to order and cancel out the awkwardness. Thankfully, (for him, anyway) he finds something suitable quite quickly. "Uh, the 'Bear Roast' looks good. I'll get that."

Examining her menu for something tasty, Tharja eventually decides to simply get the 'Valmese Fish and Chips' and, after telling the waiter her order, slumps down in her chair in annoyance. "Tch," she spits out, crossing her arms in insolence. "What a great start to dinner. Nearly get kidnapped and... violated. Yes yes, a _wonderful_ start to dinner."

Unsure of how to answer, Chrom twiddles his thumbs uncomfortably and tries to distract himself by looking around the room. When he sees the Falchion replica and inscription on the wall again, he starts to read it to himself so he doesn't have to face Tharja's scary demeanour.

"Chrom."

He pretends not to hear her...

"Chrom."

...twice.

"Chrom!"

_That voice doesn't sound happy..._

Chrom fearfully directs his gaze back to Tharja's, but bizarrely, her mood seems to have made a complete turnaround; not only is she no longer emitting an aura of annoyance, but she seems genuinely happy... well, happy for Tharja, anyway. No one has really seen her smile without looking like she's giving you a creepy grin.

_And yet... that kind of suits her, in a good way..._

"You know, Chrom, I must admit that you're not exactly the man I expected you to be," she comments slyly, and Chrom doesn't respond. Is she complimenting him, or mocking him? "I know you're someone who will go to great lengths to protect his friends, but truthfully, you had no chance in beating that man and his crew by yourself. It would take two of you to make up one of them, and there were probably a dozen or so of those goons. And yet you still risked your life to protect me."

Her smiling face turns into a glare again, and her demeanour becomes scary once more. As she considers her next words carefully, Chrom becomes anxious at what she'll do next. "Give me an honest answer to this question, and I'll _know_ if you're not being truthful: why? Why did you want to protect me, a Plegian, so intently when you would have clearly died while trying? You could have, and probably should have, left me to those pirates. Honestly, the whole continent would be a lot happier if they didn't know that one of your associates was a Plegian. In fact, there could be an uproar if the people of Ylisse found out." She breathes in deeply. "So I must ask you again, why?"

Her voice very, _very _slightly betrays her as she finishes the question.

But Chrom doesn't notice, for he already knows how to answer.

"Well, you said it yourself," he replies confidently. "I'll do anything to protect my friends, and..."

"But Chrom," Tharja interrupts, pointing at Chrom accusingly, "since I was recruited into the army, we've barely spoken to each other at all. I'm pretty sure that between that day and today, we've said less than ten words to each other." Her eyes begin to emit a dark aura. "_We're not even friends."_

While technically the statement is true, it seems to cut into Chrom a lot deeper than it should. Tharja can see in his eyes that he's offended by the statement, and she almost decides to just end the conversation right then and there. But she holds her ground, because she really wants to know the answer.

Eventually, Chrom comes up with one: "Tharja, even if we barely spoke to each other, don't we share some of the same ideals? Didn't we fight the same fights? Feel the same camaraderie as we fought for the same goal? If those things didn't matter to you, even to a small degree, you wouldn't have stayed with us."

Tharja shrugs. "I didn't want to end up as one of the dead guys."

"I don't believe you." Chrom accuses, and the response elicits anger from the mage. _How dare he say that to me! Who is he to question what my true motives are?_

"You're walking down a dangerous path, Chrom..."

"I'll tell you why I don't believe you!" Chrom shouts in response, and Tharja is now admittedly curious about what he is going to say, but she doesn't allow her face to betray her thoughts. "Even though I accepted you into the army quite quickly, I took it upon myself to watch and make sure you didn't try to do anything suspicious. Obviously, nothing happened, which you confirmed for me when you spoke about it earlier, but you were definitely fighting half-heartedly. And yet, at the end of the battle, do you know what happened?"

Tharja is about to sarcastically say, 'your sister died?', but in the end decides against it. Like she said earlier, she's not _that _heartless.

"When my sister... jumped off... that cliff..."

Chrom's starting to blubber a little bit in his speech as he speaks, but he shakes his head vigorously and begins speaking with true determination: "When Emmeryn jumped off that cliff, everyone in the army was upset, crying... some were yelling out and shouting, 'why?!' Everyone was upset... except for you. When I noticed you staring at my dead sister on the ground, I saw intense anger resonating from you. The _injustice_ of the situation brought out this indescribable rage from your heart... and you know what happened after that? You fought against the enemy with purpose. You weren't fighting like it wasn't important anymore. You were doing everything in your power to avenge my sister's death! And don't you try to deny it!"

Not waiting for a response, Chrom gets up from his seat and faces away from Tharja, lowering his voice until it is barely loud enough for Tharja to hear: "If that doesn't make us friends, then you don't deserve to be one to me."

And then, he simply walks away.

* * *

><p><em>I should have taken Robin's advice and just ignored that letter. None of this would have happened...<em>

As Chrom goes towards the lavatory, he passes by the lounge and causally glances inside, and then he stops in his tracks. As he examines what's happening in front of him in the lounge, he at first feels some happiness spring up in his heart...

...but that happiness soon turns into horror when he realizes something very important...

"Chrom, this is dumb. Get back here," Tharja calls from the table, and when Chrom doesn't go back, Tharja groans in annoyance and storms towards Chrom in an attempt to get him to return. "Seriously, I'm not going to ask you twice."

She's getting quite close to the lounge; if she sees what's going on inside...

"Tharja, I can't let you through here," Chrom says, blocking the doorway to the lounge.

"What? Why can't I come in? Clearly there are some things we have to get settled, and it's clearly not happening back at our table." She attempts to pass by the determined man blocking her path. "Let's sneak into the lounge and figure things out there."

"Tharja, this is important. We can't go in there," he explains thoughtfully, and Tharja can notice that Chrom is genuinely concerned as he speaks to her. "Look, you may not view me as anything, but I view you as a friend. And as my friend, I want to protect you. And right now, if you have any sort of trust in me, you will take my word for it and not go into that lounge."

Tharja thinks long and hard about Chrom's statement, and eventually she decides to actually do what he says. It does sort of irk her that she'll so easily give in to Chrom's will, but...

...as much as she doesn't want to admit it, he's done so much for her in the last hour that even _she_ knows when someone is looking out for her and wants to make sure that she is alright. And Chrom is not someone who would take a situation like this lightly.

"All... all right..." she reluctantly agrees, lowering her eyes and voice, and she begins to go back to the table with Chrom...

"Yes! Yes! Robin, of _course_ I'll marry you! Oh, I love you so much..."

...when Sumia cries out in glee from the lounge.

Tharja's face pales.

"W-what..."

Despite Chrom's warning, Tharja barges past Chrom and stares in grief as Sumia and Robin kiss each other in the lounge, with an engagement ring shining on Sumia's finger...

* * *

><p><span>Author's Notes<span>

Oh no! Tharja's worst nightmare has come true!

My quest to add more description and details into the story continues! Some of you guys had some good advice, and I tried to use all of it, and I think it paid off. In comparison to many of my other stories, I think there's improvement! Anyone think so?

The pirate situation was an interesting idea I thought I should add, and I think it lead into the rest of the conflict quite well. I didn't give him a name because it was irrelevant... although that hasn't stopped me before. :p A random pirate accent is fun to work with too!

I'm not entirely sure about the whole debate Tharja and Chrom had about friendship and stuff, but I thought it was important to do. Deep conversations can really bring out a person's true thoughts and motives, especially when it concerns something as controversial as Emmeryn's death. And perhaps it was needed to bring these two closer together, which is, of course, the ultimate goal...

Guys, I can't believe how much support this fic is getting! I appreciate all of the reviews and all of the story alerts I got, and I hope you guys will keep supporting me for this story, because the success DOES hinge on you guys and what you think! Just a reminder again to please sign in before reviewing! If you want to find out whenever I write other stories in the future, consider following me as an author, and you'll know IMMEDIATELY when I update any of my stories or write any new ones! You'll never miss out!

Thanks a lot guys! There's still going to be another chapter or two, (I really don't know yet) but first I need to write some more AGOH! Hope to update soonish!


	3. The Right Result

Chapter 3: The Right Result

_No... no... no..._

"Tharja?"

_How... how... how?_

"Tharja? Tharja, can you hear me?"

Chrom's words completely bounce off Tharja, who's oblivious to everything right now except for the couple expressing their love for each other in the lounge, as well as her own thoughts.

_Why her? I'M the one who's always trying to seduce you. I'M the one who was always devoted to you..._

"Tharja! Snap out of it!"

Chrom's insistence finally registers itself into Tharja's head, and she turns her face towards the worried man, who himself grows more worried when he notices just how pale Tharja's face is. "Why..."

"Tharja, let's get out of here. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to be here right now..."

With enough gentle persuasion, Chrom is able to lead the mortified girl away from the lounge and back to their table, where their food is just being delivered. After paying the waiter for their meals to be put into carry-home bags, they begin to leave...

...but suddenly, Tharja's eyes ignite with fury.

It takes every ounce of Chrom's strength to hold back the enraged woman from storming into the lounge and doing something she will most likely regret.

_I will not accept this! Robin is MINE! Give him back!_

Tharja's stubbornness is taking a toll on Chrom; while he is obviously the stronger individual of the two, the combination of Tharja's rage and adrenaline is currently overpowering him. And if this struggle lasts much longer, Tharja will escape from his grasp. So, at this point, the only thing Chrom can do right now is fall back on the only other thing he knows he can beat Tharja in: speed. Bracing himself against the table, he releases his hold on Tharja and kicks off against the table to get a head-start.

Startled, Tharja soon realizes that she's free and starts sprinting towards the lounge to get there before Chrom can. Again, even though Chrom is normally faster, Tharja somehow catches up, and Chrom knows if he doesn't do something fast, Tharja will overtake him.

So Chrom jumps in front of her and plants himself in her direct path.

Not surprisingly, Tharja crashes into him before she can change direction or stop, and the two of them tumble along the ground a short ways until Tharja is flat on her back and Chrom is on top of her, their faces mere inches away from each other.

Even though they're both out of breath from the struggle, the realization that their chests are pressed against each other's leads to their breathing to quicken considerably, especially Chrom's.

"Idiot, get off of... me..." Tharja starts, initially trying to pull herself out from under Chrom's weight, but soon she gives in to the situation when the full realization of how close of proximity they're in hits her, and she simply lays on the ground motionless. Even though she doesn't have any real romantic feelings for Chrom, she is still a woman, meaning that she's feeling a little bit of excitement that this man is so close to her.

And even though Chrom doesn't have any real romantic feelings for Tharja, he is still a man, meaning that he's feeling a _lot _of excitement that he's so close to this beautiful woman. The fact that he's never had actual physical contact with a woman before (especially considering the position they're in) especially makes the situation exciting... and... stimulating...

Tharja notices this immediately.

"Uh, Chrom, what's poking me? That better not be..."

"Hmm? Yous must not bes afraid to have an audience. Yous looks like yous about to go ats each other right here in fronts of everyone..."

And the pirate from before making peanut-gallery comments isn't helping the situation at all either.

"Get off me. _Now._"

This time, Chrom complies to Tharja's wishes, his face somewhat red from excitement and embarrassment. "Sheech, it's like you've never been close to a girl before," she remarks sarcastically, but she faces away from him to hide her ever-so-slightly reddened cheeks. "Certain parts of you were quite excited, weren't they?"

"Don'ts be so naive, lass," the pirate jokes, slapping Chrom quite hard on the back and laughing heartily. Chrom nearly stumbles over from the overly strong gesture. "A beautiful lass like yous could makes any man worship the grounds yous stands on. The prince heres must have done something extraordinary to earn yous as his date. Yous a lucky one, prince!"

"Idiot. The one man I want to impress is swapping spit with his new fiancé," Tharja growls, glaring at the pirate in annoyance and anger. Exhaling sharply and crossing her arms, she continues, "besides, what would you know, pirate? _You_ just grab any girl you please and threaten to use them until you're satisfied."

That comment clearly offends the pirate, for the grin on his face disappears and is replaced by intense anger. "Grrrrr... yous takes that back, lass!" he says, posting himself in front of the considerably smaller girl and giving her a glare of his own. "Only since me late wife was takens away from mes last year during me 24th birthday have I beens like this. Nothing coulds replace her. So whys should it matter to mes?"

The startling story actually festers a small amount of guilt into Tharja's heart, but she refuses to let it show for more than a second. Chrom notices it, but the pirate doesn't, for he beats his fist into his palm several times to try and intimidate her. "If yous wasn't with the prince, me woulds punish you for your insolence..."

Tharja smirks, eager to accept the challenge. "Try it, jerk."

"Enough!" Chrom shouts, and the two arguing parties grow silent, albeit still angry at each other. "This has gotten ridiculous. You!" he starts, pointing at the pirate, "no attacking Tharja! And you!" he says next, pointing at Tharja, "stop insulting him. We're leaving."

Grabbing Tharja by the wrist, Chrom forces the mage out of the building alongside him, and as the pirate watches the two of them leave, he laughs. "Ha ha! I'll bets me gold that theys end up with each others. She cares mores for him thans she says, even if shes doesn't wants to admit it!"

"You know," a crewmate speaks up from a nearby table, "couldn't you just have told them the truth? About how you could never actually go through with your threats to any girls you talked to and just ended up buying them dinner and walking them home after?"

"No ones needs to know that," the pirate groans, walking back to his table to join the rest of his crew.

* * *

><p>Chrom and Tharja walk back to the camp in silence, neither of them attempting to make any conversation. Otherwise, they make it back without incident, and for a while the two of them simply watch each other, both waiting for the other person to do something. In fact, it isn't until Tharja eventually sneezes that Chrom takes action and quickly pulls out a handkerchief for the girl to use. After Tharja blows her nose adequately, she frowns at the prince, confusing him.<p>

"This has been an interesting evening," she comments, her frown suddenly turning angrier by the second.

"Uh, yes, it sure has," Chrom replies awkwardly, and he grows more confused when he determines that Tharja is really mad at him for some reason. Unfortunately, he cannot figure out why, which only seems to make her madder.

Finally, she reveals her reasoning to him, in the form of a whisper: "_You have no idea how much I want to blame you for everything that happened tonight_."

That comment is painful for Chrom to hear. It shows in his eyes as well, and Tharja lets her guard down just for a moment, but then recovers quickly. "The xenophobic man at that restaurant. That dumb pirate. Robin... proposing to Sumia..."

Her face darkens. "If Robin had gotten that letter... instead of you... none of this would have happened."

She turns away from Chrom in disgust, and he just watches sadly as she gives him the cold shoulder. After a few minutes, he sighs and starts to walk away...

...but Tharja stops him.

"The problem is... I _can't_ blame you!" she shouts in frustration, beating Chrom's back lightly with her fists. "_You_ defended me when that man was insulting my culture and background. _You _protected me when that stupid pirate was going to assault me. Even after I insulted your morals... _you_ did everything in your power to prevent me from seeing the very event that I believed would crush my heart forever."

She stops beating him and turns him around so they are facing each other. "For all of that..." she mumbles, turning her head away to avoid eye contact, "I owe you a sincere apology... and a thank you..."

Chrom is dumbfounded, but he smiles anyway, thankful that there aren't any hard feelings between the two of them.

"Besides, I'm the one who dropped the letter off at the wrong tent," she says, her eyes growing bored so that she is showing him her normal expression. "Either way, I guess in the end, Sumia was the more appealing woman. Robin wouldn't have chosen her if that wasn't the case. When you think about it, she's the _cute_ one. What would Robin want with me?"

"I'm sure that you have qualities that Robin could like," Chrom tries to reassure her, attempting to come up with some logical points and arguments. When he comes up with something specific, he blushes lightly and says to her, "the pirate was right about one thing, Tharja... many men would find you... attractive..."

"Every woman is attractive in some way, genius," Tharja mocks, crossing her arms and glaring at Chrom with piercing eyes. "What's it to you? Besides, that's not really a quality of a person."

Silence again. Chrom, however, gives some thought on how to best answer her inquiry. Eventually, though, he comes up with this: "You want to know what your best quality is? You're genuine. You aren't afraid to be yourself. If people don't like that, then they can hit the road, or at least that's how you think. It may not be Robin's cup of tea, but one day you'll find someone who can't resist that part of you."

Tharja contemplates the statement for a few moments, and the more she replays it in her head, the more it makes sense to her. It's amazing how profound the observation actually is, and soon she can't help but feel better, even after everything that's happened tonight. Even if Chrom can't read her thoughts, the grin on her face is all-telling, and she holds her hand up to her face so she can giggle behind it knowingly. "Hee hee... with words like that, what other conclusion can I draw except that maybe you have a soft spot for me in your heart? Careful, Chrom... I told you that you're walking down a dangerous path..."

Now Chrom is fearful for what the dark mage might do to him, but instead of doing something harmful, she sultrily waltzes to Chrom's side and kisses his cheek. It grows red in response. "It may take a long time for me to get over Robin," she coos, oozing her voice out slowly and subtly for effect, "but if you choose to go down that path, Chrom... what you find at the end might just be worth the risk..."

Tharja steps back, and Chrom can't help but notice the creepy grin she's sporting on her face right at this moment.

It suits her perfectly.

* * *

><p>EPILOGUE<p>

When Chrom and Tharja become a couple a few days later, nobody in the camp can believe it at first, especially Robin, considering for the first few months of courtship she stills attempts to stalk him and win over his heart. It is only after Tharja and Chrom share their first real kiss during their six-month anniversary of being a couple that she finally understands and begins to show her affection for Chrom exclusively.

Even though Chrom officially becomes the Exalt during this six-month time period, Tharja's status as a Plegian does not negatively influence him in the slightest. In fact, it only strengthens his resolve to attempt to keep peace with the Plegians in the future, for he knows that they as individuals are not bad people; it's only bad rulers that give their subjects bad names for themselves.

Eventually, proof that their relationship will manifest to the highest degree possible reveals itself the day after their six-month anniversary...

* * *

><p>That particular day, while investigating the shipping docks at the town of Dregal, Chrom studies the activity around him; something seems a tad different than normal, but he's not sure what it is. Unable to figure it out, he decides to think about it later, when Tharja surprises him with her presence.<p>

"Hello Chrom," she greets him, leaning into him contentedly as she wraps her arms around his torso. "Almost done here?"

"Yes, I am," Chrom answers, and he wraps his arm around his girlfriend in response. "Want to go out for dinner tonight? I don't have any duties to attend to, and I hear the Royal Pavise has a new person working at the reservation desk. A Plegian, in fact."

Tharja smirks playfully. "Tempting, but I think I'd rather go back to the Aegis Cafe. Maybe I can go laugh at that stupid pirate there and see what the poor fellow's been up to."

"Yous means me, lass? Har har har!"

Tharja glares in the direction of the voice, and walking not too far away from her is the damned pirate himself, followed closely behind by his crew. This time, however, they seem to be readying themselves for actual piracy of some sort, judging by their battle equipment and bags of extra supplies. It may be possible that they're privateers; pirates hired by the government to do jobs for them, such as attacking corrupt business dealers; otherwise, they would probably have been caught and charged for felonies a long time ago. As Chrom's main advisor, Frederick is the one in charge of these sort of things, so Chrom wouldn't actually know if they hired this particular crew to do anything for them or not.

He'll probably want to check now, though, knowing that Tharja probably wouldn't like the idea of being associated with this particular pirate that leads them.

"Hmph," she now chuckles, eager to confront the pirate in some way after getting interrupted half a year ago. "In a sense, I was hoping not to see you again... but now, since I have the 'honour' of your presence, I have the means to hex you to next week if I really wanted to..."

"Ha ha! No needs for hostility, lass!" the pirate retorts. He's clearly lost any resentment he may have had for Tharja in the past, because if he didn't, he'd probably be much angrier. "Wes is doing okay. Gots a new crewmate coming todays to helps us on our next job, though wes already mets a few times before. Theys should be heres soon..."

"I'm over here, Gumbo," a feminine voice calls, and around the corner, a bodacious female pirate emerges from behind a crate in the distance. She looks to be in her mid-twenties, and seems to possess enough confidence in herself to take on an entire army by herself. It is most likely that she could handle being in a crew of all men without incident. "Are we going to get this job started, or what? Don't forget the challenge I issued to you! Whoever loads less crates onto the ship before we leave has to buy the other person dinner, and just to help motivate you, I'm delighted to tell you that I've already loaded three," she gloats, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey! That's not fairs! Gets back here!" the pirate responds, immediately losing interest in Tharja and running after the female pirate in annoyance in an attempt to either catch her or start loading crates. "And don'ts calls me Gumbo!"

The rest of the crewmates roll their eyes at "Gumbo" and just slowly follow along in silence, and as soon as they are out of sight, another girl with blue hair peeks her head out from behind the same crate the female pirate emerged from. Chrom and Tharja watch this girl with interest, and eventually, she tiptoes ever so slowly towards the two of them, almost afraid to meet eye contact. The girl appears to be an archer of some sort, judging by the bow and quiver she carries with her, but also the shoulder armor that she wears on her left arm.

"Uh, can we help you?" Chrom asks thoughtfully, but the girl seems too shy to answer. Her nervous and anxious nature seems to imply that she wants to tell them something, but she cannot seem to start talking.

"He asked you a question," Tharja threatens, eyeing the poor girl mercilessly.

"I'm sorry, I..." she finally begins to respond, and she swallows in anticipation. "I'm so nervous. It's just that... I've come from the future, and... I'm your daughter, Noire... it's nice to meet both of my parents again after so long..."

Tharja doesn't believe Noire for a second. _This_ girl; this tall, petite girl with the personality of a mouse; is her daughter?

Although, when Tharja gets a look at Noire's impressively large chest, _which may even be bigger than her own_, the story seems a bit more plausible.

Even if the rest of the story is a bit farfetched.

"_Our_ daughter?" Chrom asks, gawking, and he looks at Tharja in amazement. "Even if the story seems unbelievable... I'm going to be... a father..."

"Hold on a minute," Tharja interrupts, "you expect us to just _believe_ that you're our daughter from the future? Who knows what the future holds! We may not even get married and have kids in the first place! What proof do you have?"

The logical yet disheartening comment destroys what little confidence Noire has right now, and the distraught girl cannot think of a way to prove her claim. Chrom wants to comfort her somehow, but he cannot think of a way to do so at the moment... thankfully for Noire, though, a lightbulb goes off in her head and she reaches into her quiver, pulling out an envelope of some sort.

"Even though this wasn't originally for Father when you wrote it... you kept it as one of your most valuable keepsakes, and you wanted me to have it for myself in case something ever happened to you..." Noire explains, bashfully handing the letter to Tharja.

Tharja raises an eyebrow at the comment, and when she opens the envelope, she's amazed to find a perfect copy of the letter she originally wrote for Robin, but Chrom got instead six months ago...

THE END

* * *

><p><span>Author's Notes<span>

What? Did I just destroy canon again this story? NO WAY

Firstly, I have to give a thank you to pokemondotrhoades (I can't type the name properly because of some weird formatting rules the Fanfiction site has, but he's written reviews for the story, so if you need to check out his profile, check the reviews page) for coming up with the term for offending someone from another country: xenophobic. Even though it wasn't the word I was originally thinking of, it better fit the description of what I was trying to think of anyway, so it's all good. I was going to thank him last chapter, but I completely forgot. Not this time!

Wow, I am really proud of this story. It didn't turn out exactly how I thought it would originally, but that's because I completely ran out of ideas once I hit the end of the second chapter. I can't remember the last time I didn't have any idea on how to continue a story, and I must say that it frightened me, mainly because I was worried that either I'd come up with a crappy idea, or I'd take months to figure something out. Thankfully, it wasn't a humongous wait, and I think the idea wasn't crappy, so YAY! I have to thank Cormag Ravenstaff for helping me in this manner as well! I used bits and pieces of an idea he suggested to me in a PM, and it helped a lot! Check out his stories! They're great!

I contemplated whether I should give the pirate a bigger role or even bring him back at all, but he seemed well-liked, and again, he was a good way to transition into a more serious discussion between Chrom and Tharja. Plus, he deserved a bit of a happy ending after finding out his depressing story about his wife. :D I kind of liked the rivalry he had with Tharja too!

I'll admit this is a bit of a more adult story of mine, (content-wise, anyway) so I made a few more mature jokes and comments than normal. Any story I write with Tharja or Noire HAS to have at least one joke about their chests. :p

The one thing I'm worried about if I moved Chrom and Tharja's relationship too fast before the epilogue or not. Could I get some feedback on this matter on why or why not from you guys? Either way, the answer will help with future submissions!

This was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I wrote it. I haven't written a good crack pairing (that wasn't a request) since Faithful, and that was finished in the middle of June. It's the middle of November now! I hope you guys enjoyed it too, and I hope you guys check out my other stories or follow me as an author to read my future works! Next on the agenda is to write the next chapter of AGOH and then start up on another request or two. I hope to see you guys again soon!

Signed, COOKIECHEESEMAN


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